


Another Time...

by Cdrash13



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alpha Bucky Barnes, Alpha Natasha Romanov, Alpha Steve Rogers, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awesome Wanda Maximoff, Blood Magic, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Hurt Steve Rogers, Magical Tattoos, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, POV Bucky Barnes, Pre-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Protective Natasha Romanov, Protective Pepper Potts, Reader-Insert, Slow Burn, Steve Rogers Feels, Time Travel, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2020-10-17 13:55:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20622116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cdrash13/pseuds/Cdrash13
Summary: You're a highly empathic Omega that's slowly working her way into the Avengers. It's a bonus that you come from a lineage of magic...You're a long way from home, Ireland. Leaving your old life behind to create a small family of friends with Pepper, Natasha, and Peter.But what happens when a time-traveling villain uses your magic to disrupt the balance of the world you know and love?What happens when you're thrust back to WWII and just so happen to run into Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes?What happens when of IF you figure out how to get back to your current timeline?(There are timeline connections to the Winter Soldier in this.)





	1. Embers Of A Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Soldier meets a girl...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thanks for giving my fanfiction a read <3 
> 
> This is very challenging for me to write, so I really appreciate your patience. 
> 
> Please read the endnotes for some personal explanations of why it takes me forever to update <3

**Prologue**

**“Secret…”**

The word repeated over and over in his mind. He never dreamt, hardly ever...Hydra made sure of that. Only vast darkness and weightlessness that consumed him. Until a sound would stir him...a soft laugh and what felt like a warm breeze. A memory? No...it had to be a figment of his imagination; though he believed he couldn't conjure up something as lovely as this...as _her_. He never knew her until he was forced back into the darkness. He was weary of her in the beginning, keeping a watchful distance from the girl that would change ever so slightly in his dreams. He wasn’t sure when the visions started or even why they began, but they left him breathless within himself.

She is the embodiment of soft. Her face was never fully visible, he would only catch a glimpse of a playful smile. Sometimes curious eyes that hinted at something...more. Long flowing hair, waist length, he never understood the longing he felt to run his fingers through it. She was tall for a female...though, compared to him...many were short, small. She looked ever so small. He found it appealing. The top of her head would come up to his shoulders, he could tell even while keeping a distance, this girl was no threat. Simply a pretty flower that would ultimately be destroyed by him. Nothing soft ever lasted around him; it's part of his purpose. 

There is no real way for him to know how long he's seen her, he has no real way of knowing how long she's been humming sweetly around him. He isn't sure when his curiosity got the better of him, but after a long while, he couldn't deny the pull that pulled him to her. He expected fear from her small form...what other emotion could ever be expressed towards him? But she would only turn to him slightly; acknowledging him. Everything is a pleasant blur with the girl. Soft touches, gentle humming, the scent of vanilla and roses wrapping around his sense; he tried to fight it...he wanted to hate it, he wanted to expel her (it was only natural for him to silence any goodness that sparked within his depths.)

But he wouldn't. He didn't understand the part of him that is curious about her, that secretly craved the gentle nature of intimacy; But he knew Hydra couldn't reach this part of his mind...or at least, he wouldn't let them. He could never express it, never mention it...never mention _her_. The girl in the depths of his contorted mind...soft, and unreachable. She had first come in the form of a whisper, a gentle pleading for him to wake up, but he would only come out of consciousness in a room of doctors and guards; quickly reminding him to push away the little whisper that had gently spoken to him. He had no memory of knowing pleasure before this vast comatose of weighted darkness. He always felt something inside of him that would sting upon waking, being ripped away from what he assumed was her scent. Being ripped away from _her._

Sterile room.

Gun powder.

Blood. 

_God_, he preferred the scent of sweet spring rather than the stench of death that had drifted into his bones; his very being. 

There were moments of conscious when his mind would seek out her scent upon returning from a mission. Apart of him wanted to go back under, to be with her. She calmed him, sated him. He was becoming dependant upon her sweetness. She was an Omega, he gathered that much from her nature towards him. He didn’t deserve the way she would reach out to him, happy and carefree. He was weary to touch her, afraid to wake...and afraid that she had been implanted by Hydra as a way to gain better leverage over him.

But they couldn't create something good, someone gentle. She never seemed dejected when he would stand away from her, leaning away from the small hand that would be outstretched to him. Her smile would be sad, never reaching her eyes...that pleaded for him to know her. Though she never verbally expressed her disappointment in his distance, he saw it in the way that she would move away from him...not long before he would be forced awake. Respectful but longing...as if she missed him as much as he did her.

It was a mixture of annoyance and curiosity that had built up within him to finally will himself to reach out for her. A part of him ached in knowing that she hadn’t been real; she froze in his grip on her forearm, holding her in place while he studied her more closely. She reminded him of the sunshine. Her, skin felt as soft as rose petals, the scent that had only grown stronger in each comatose cage of his dreams. Though her appearance resembled Fall, the soldier couldn’t help but enjoy that contrast of her presence against his...whispers of Fall with figments of a false Spring that he gladly allowed in the depths of his mind. Cold and isolating...Winter. Brief glimpses and flickers of long red hair that would trail past her waist. Pale skin that was dusted with freckles and patchy colors of tan skin pigments. Some darker than others and spread out in nine patches over her small form; vitiligo.

He didn’t understand how he knew this information, let alone how it was vital to the girl that he held in place. She never wavered against his vice grip, never whimpered or attempted to pull away. She simply stared back into his eyes, burnt orange with tinges of blue that had consumed him. Her physical attributes were so unnatural and otherworldly, he must’ve made her of what he could only assume was desire and lovelessness. She couldn’t be of flesh and blood; if she was...he would make certain to keep away from her. God help her if she was real...

He hardly took notice of scents in his consciousness, hers...always roused him gently. He had welcomed it, he had begun to welcome her. Even in being an Alpha, he had been reprogrammed to not register any forms of pleasures; satisfaction was related to having free will...and even as her scent would fill his senses, he found he had no free will even against the girl who came to him so sweetly...her presence felt like sunshine upon his skin. He relished and ached in her control over him. It was an Omega’s duty to soothe their Alpha...she was the only comfort he knew. The ebbing of red waves...copper: long and soft as he ran his fingers through them, the vision would stop as soon as the curled tips of red hair would reveal the metal hand...he didn’t deserve to touch her; disgust filled him. Clenching his fist tightly, his teeth grinding together as he clicked his jaw. Her soft tendrils of hair, quickly turning into red smoke as it formed into the skull of his captors; laced with tentacles. A reminder...a warning. Hydra.

They would only consume her, tear her apart in front of him. Take away the only glimmer of what he imagined to be happy to be. She had become his only satisfaction. A treat that he longed for, often doing best to accomplish his missions so he could dive back into his slumber. Back into her arms that he had allowed to wrap around him now. The fear of them taking her...it triggered something animalistic inside of him, his grip would tighten on her. She must’ve known he was afraid...Omega’s could always sense when their Alpha felt threatened. It was predictable now, his waking. She would whisper to him, reminding him that she would always be here, waiting for him. Her fingers running through his dark locks as he would dive into the crook of her neck. Her scent was comforting to him as he would rub his nose against her bonding mark, untouched and waiting for him to claim...she would scratch his scalp gently. Lightly tugging him closer to her as he felt the dread of leaving her for toil and bloodshed.

He was becoming possessive, he was becoming unstable. If he didn’t want to leave...he didn’t want to let her go. The agony of waking without her, in a room filled with only those to force his natural Alpha to submit for Hydra’s cause; never knew of the girl that would come to him. She was his secret, and through the years of being wiped and reprogrammed...somehow the faint scent of roses would drift back to him. Softly, and gently. Pleading for him to wake up...to remember her.

**Longing**.  
His...she was his… “Mega...” a frantic whisper that would blare in the depths of his heart. They couldn’t take her away from him if he forced her away, far away from them, Hydra. Was she real?

**Rusted**.  
The visions would shift from the soft scent of roses...to blood. Was it her blood? Had he hurt her? Frantic, he was frantic to get to her, to save her. He didn’t know from what...he could only feel the weight of her limp body in his arms, as he tried to shake her...pleading for her to look at him, to open her eyes. Could he find her?

**Furnace**.  
Her hair...her hair was like fire, how he would rather that flame consume him. Bury his face deep within the crook of the neck the copper waves nestled upon that she kept shifted to one side of her body...He needed to find her.

**Daybreak**.  
A soft giggle...melodic. He never realized how painful the silence within his shattered mind was till he would be left with the echo of a sound that only pulled at his heart. She was waking him up in the morning? Somewhere far away, warm and safe. A place of privacy in the cage of his arms as she wished him a good morning...  
Seventeen.  
Mega...she was a sweet Omega...young, soft, and fresh...like the flowers that were weaved into her hair. He didn’t know how or when...but she was his.

**Benign**.  
She was all he had...he couldn’t let them take her away from him. She had lost control of something...as to what, he didn’t know. So he held her close to him, reminding her that she was alright, safe, and not going to harm anyone: including him.

**Nine**.  
Nine...the patches of skin that were blotched over her body. Uneven and wild...a condition? A beautiful one. He needed to be near her again, his Omega...the only one that could soothe him.

**Homecoming**.  
The briefest moments of gentle touches to his face, a pale hand that he would lean into...only to fade away with her lingering scent...Roses? She felt like home to him.

**One**.  
They wouldn’t take her from him. Even if she was just a figment of his mind...she was all he had left. He would come back to her...just for one moment in what he felt was a dream. Was it a dream? Memories? Or foreshadowing? He couldn’t linger on it...linger on her.

He never knew her...until he was forced back into the darkness.

It felt like coming home, it felt like Spring in the dead of winter…

She was _his_ flower, in his hell.

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, cinnamon rolls <3
> 
> So, I take forever to update! Also, this is a slow burn (as you can tell lol.)  
I take so long to update because I'm working through some personal issues in life, we all have them! I've had a really hard year...my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and I ended a relationship with someone that was...not good for me.
> 
> It resulted in stalking for the entire year, and even up to this point. 
> 
> Writing has been REALLY good for me. It's been so helpful...and you all have been so kind to me <3 
> 
> I cannot say it enough...THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. 
> 
> Please be patient with me...I'm trying to be a better writer for me and you guys <3


	2. A new begining

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We learn about the reader, get a foundation for who they are.

**Chapter 1.**

Cedar, cinnamon, and a masculine musk filled your senses as you fought the weight of sleep. You sighed with relief, you loved when your dreams lingered into a state of realism. To many, that would be unsettling; but you found a strange form of solace in the fragmented dream that came to you occasionally. You never knew exactly who you were dreaming about, but it was always on the edge of passionate; a fever dream. You had never been the type of girl to drool over heaps of men throughout your life, but you could admit the privacy of your small apartment that the mystery man you dreamed about really stole your breath away in the mornings. 

He was always warm and heavy...he always towered above you. He was tall, with strong shoulders that cradled you in safely. Two strong arms locking around your waist as he would pull you into him. He was like a brick wall. You had read somewhere that in dreams, your mind couldn't form the images of hands or time; that if you tried to look at your hands or find a clock in your dreams, that you would wake up. So you never looked down at the two hands holding your frame securely. You just placed yours over them, always pleased at the tension that would leave the arms of _your_ stranger, his palms settling softly into your tummy as you hummed happily. 

_He felt sad..._

Why? why did he ache with so much desperation? the weight was crushing as his body would gently cage you in. In the beginning, you had been afraid of how raw his heartache felt. But the nature of an Omega kicked in quickly. You wanted to comfort this stranger, to show gentleness. You had a desire to either take away his suffering or share in it; to let him know that he wasn't alone. He must've known...at least, sometimes. He would occasionally lean into your hair, you could barely feel lips brush against your locks; a kiss to the crown of your hearing. For someone so hulking, he was gentle to you. The trait of a loving and protective Alpha that you hoped one day to find in the real world. 

He always felt sad when he came to you. As if you were a caged bird he had released. Waiting and hoping you would come back to him, but he was the one who always came to you. You had the unique ability of extreme empathy, among many other talents that would be considered unusual in the everyday world. You had a talent for knowing what people felt upon making physical contact with others. Something you exercised carefully. You never had a desire to tread into someone's mind without permission but understood that one day you would have to cross that bridge of extending your power.

Your stranger though, you could never sense anything but sadness from him; and it made your heartache and even....fearful. As to why you couldn't truly say. But you tried to be sweet, gently running your fingers over his hands and arms to remind him that he was okay. He was with you...he was safe. You had always been a sensitive Omega, and scents came with the territory of your empathic gifts; everyone had a distinct smell. A marker, if you will. You could identify your family by their scents, even knew when your friends were around or nearby. You use to curse this ability, noticing that other Omegas weren't as sensitive as you; only making you feel isolated in your difference. 

You were never able to move in the dreams, and aside from his masculine scent that wafted around you. There are no details in the dream to distinguish a time or place; just a vast fog. Though you knew in the back of your mind that you were asleep, that it was only a few hours, it often felt like a few moments when he came to visit you. You often wondered if you knew each other if he was someone you had met in your life, but nothing ever fit in place. You found yourself searching for him on occasion, hoping to see anyone who mildly felt or smelled like him.

You often felt relief to go to sleep. It was the only time your mind quieted, the only time you weren't overwhelmed with the aroma's of others' essence; you had a suspicion that scents were an inkling to who people truly were on the inside; their deepest essence. Even though all creatures had scent glands, Alpha's, Omega's, and Betas, he had always been your favorite. It was so comforting to have come over you. There was an instant security that came with your stranger. You never truly remembered when he had come along, into your mind, but you always felt so at peace when you dreamed of him. It had gotten to a point where you couldn't wait to go to sleep after the long days at your new job...

You always knew when it was coming to an end, when you were about to wake up. He would lean down, moving his face into the crook of your neck. His arms tightening around you as he pulled you impossibly closer; his grip teetering on painful as he would breathe you in. You could feel the ridge of his nose on your scent gland as he would lovingly rub against it. You would mewl softly, your fingers digging into his strong forearms. His breath would tickle your ear, along with the feeling of something scruffy and rough against your neck; your stranger had a stronger jawline with a beard that often left you feeling fluttered in your lower tummy. 

His breathing would become erratic, his fingers digging into your stomach as he would nip into your neck. He would get progressively rougher with you upon your waking, claiming and defensive. _Unhinged._ You wanted to tell him that everything would be okay, that you would come back to him, but your lips could never muster anything other than frantic gaps and soft mewls; almost as if the dream never allowed you to say anything. But you could feel his emotions shift from sadness to animalistic.

He would sigh into you, his breath shaky as his tongue would drift over your scent gland. His hands wandering to your sides and digging into the dip of your waist. His teeth just barley grazing your ear before he would suck on your neck. You would end up on your tiptoes, feet barely reaching the ground as he would lift you higher into him. He was needy, possessive, and _sinful_ in lapping you up.

A whine would escape your lips as your stranger would slowly grind into your ass. The hardness of his chest against your back as he ground his pelvis into you; you were trying your hardest to ignore the hardened bulge that was sending shivers up your spine. His fingers drifted up your tummy, just grazing the skin as your shirt rode up. His fingers were calloused and hard as he greedily dipped into your flesh. 

The last sound you could always hear in a faded whisper before waking up...

"_Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. All mine..."_

You wanted to speak, to agree. To tell him you were, are his. It was okay to belong to a dream? right? It was safe to dwindle in something that wasn't real...but your senses ached, screaming that you were wrong. That this was in fact, very real. 

* * *

You opened your eyes, the sunlight was soft in your bedroom as you starred up at your white ceiling. It was your day off. Your stranger wasn't part of your life in wakefulness. _Damn, always waking upright when it gets good._ You clenched your fists and curled your toes, stretching on your small bed as you rubbed the sleep from your eyes. You pushed away what had become your favorite scent of your stranger, shoving the desire to stay in bed away and out of your brain as you threw your legs over the edge of the bed. Ignore the tinge of wetness between your legs as you reminded yourself that it was and probably would only ever be a dream. 

Lust like that doesn't exist, or at least...you had never been wanted in that way. The idea of someone ever wanting you in that way often left you breathless. You never imagined a life with anyone, Beta or Alpha...but if someone would hold you like that, make you feel so desirable and needed...maybe you could reconsider dating? No...no. You shook the thoughts away quickly and decided to push away all of your pent up lust for something that wouldn't happen. You didn't even need to look in the mirror to know that you looked like a hot mess. You could already feel the mess of knots in your waist-length hair. 

You couldn't even remember the last time you had gotten to sleep in, let alone a day off. Though your boss, Pepper, was always insistent that you overworked yourself. You had been working as her secretary for over three years now. Pepper was the ideal woman, someone to admire and look up too. You were thankful that you had met the Beta, she was more than just a boss...she was your friend. You never asked for her friendship, but it was easy to fall into with how much time you spent together. She never said it, but it radiated off her with how much she believed in you. She always kept a close eye on you, never judgmental but curious. 

You hadn't mentioned your abilities to your boss when applying for the job. Though empathy served you well and would benefit you in the job of serving others, you knew it wasn't needed to bring up the fact that you had magic in your veins on the resume, on top of being hypersensitive to peoples emotion. It wasn't too hard for Pepper to guess, she had a keen eye and in the back of your mind, you always wondered if she had plans for you outside of being her secretary. She noticed how tense you became when too many people were in the room, she at first thought maybe you had social anxiety. Quickly dismissing the thought upon how kindly you regarded others in the room. 

You had never actually intended to be a secretary, you had trained as a midwife and holistic medicine. Skills Pepper found valuable and unique in you, but naturally, none of the things appealed for organizing meetings and keeping track of Pepper's life. Though she happily asked questions about how you came into midwifery; you always smiled at her interest in your life. Some part of you knew that she needed a friend just as much as you did, a gal pal. You were thankful for the breaks to talk about your life before coming to New York. About your time back home, Ireland. She never missed the twinkle in your eye when you talked about your mother, your biggest fan an inspiration in pursuing female health care. 

You told her about your two brothers, Maddox and Knox. Knox was the oldest of you three and a fearsome protector of his younger siblings. He was always with your father and was the perfect example of what a young man should be. Maddox, your fraternal twin, was the epitome of trouble. The three of you shared the same wild wavy red hair of your mother but inherited your daddies hazel eyes. But none of you could ever figure out who Maddox inherited his knack for trouble from. Pepper often smiled at stories of your family, she enjoyed hearing about how you and Knox would often have to save your younger twin from antics that at some point...all of County Cork knew about before the day was done. 

You didn't tell Pepper that you had been born into magic. You didn't tell her that your mother had locked away your magic to keep you protected. You didn't want to indicate that you might be different, special,  _ gifted.  _ Because frankly, you're sure Pepper was probably sick of being around uniquely gifted superhumans; not that you are a super human...you just happen to have magical abilities that are similar to Scarlet Witch. But it had been years since you had been able to tap into your gifts...

Your mother told you about the lineage of women in your family, Omegas, that every woman had a unique attribute that complimented their soul; and that when you were ready, you would be able to find out what your magic fully held for you. But until then, she would keep it safe. She would keep it locked away from you, deep inside of your heart that you couldn't reach until you _needed_ it. 

You suspected that your magic was related to healing. Based on your sensitivity and keenness to help others. Pepper even noticed this in you. You could tell she thought you were too nice...to soft. 

She pointed out how beloved you are, or...were. You had never thought of it back in your childhood...but you were deeply loved. You had two parents that didn't force society's rules upon you to be a typical Omega. You had two brothers who would defend you and teach you how to be strong for others' though Knox encouraged you to read more rather than climb trees with Maddie (your nickname for your younger twin.) You insisted that being in the woods like any other Alpha was good you and that if Knox let you climb trees and cliffs all day, you would read a book later in the evening. And so it was, your tradition of playing with your brothers in the forests of Ireland, then in the evenings reading to your family of medicine and herbs that your mother provided. What a magical time that was...

You snapped back to reality, deep in thought. Pepper noticed, but she didn't say anything as she waited for you to continue. 

You told her about your father, about how much he wanted you to be strong and independent. He never wanted you to feel lesser because you were an Omega. He pushed you to be just as fierce as any Alpha and as thoughtful as a Beta; Pepper had never brought up the fact that you lied on your resume about being an Omega. Deep down, you were grateful. Though you weren't ashamed of being an Omega, your family thought it was best to give you suppressants that hid your instincts and scent. Pepper, like many, were aware that Omega's had a hard time finding a place in this world. Pepper understood as a woman that it was painful and frustrating to have power in a world that demanded women be submissive, she also knew the tale-tale signs of a woman in hiding and how precious it was to keep others safe; You're secret was safe...you were safe with Pepper. 

Pepper never inquired much about why you had come to New York, she took your answer as fact and never looked into; sensing the true nature wasn't ready to break surface, not even after three wonderful years of friendship: _I just....needed to be brave. I need to know what I'm capable of. _ You had told her in your interview, many years prior. You don't know if it was a mixture of her fatigue of going through a bunch of girls before your interview, or if she liked your candor... (A bit of both.)

But you were hired. Your resume was substantial, maybe not for Stark industries (though it was just a secretary job, but those are nothing to scoff at). But you explained you had done the research, you had the degrees, and you were willing to learn and better yourself if the opportunity was given to you. Pepper recognized a part of herself within you, she also recognized that you were running from something, a part of yourself. She sensed it in how you would glance towards Alpha's walking by her glass office, not missing how your eyes would follow them with wariness. She noted how your voice would strain ever so slightly when asking about your Beta healthcare. Your answers were short, and not detailed. A factor she fond to be intriguing, as if you were lying. 

Pepper knew the cliche. A girl leaves home, tries to start a new life...become a new person. She had seen it time and time again, and she was all for it. Pepper, was a supporter of women. She had already done a background check on your before the interview, and your academic record and previous work at clinics in Ireland were truthful: you are a hard-working individual. But she saw the police reports. She saw what had happened to you. She knew not to bring it up, and she wouldn't. Just like she wouldn't bring up the fact that you lied on your resume about being an Omega; if she had been in your place...she might have lied too. 

She tried not to think about painful it must've been for you to leave home after losing so much, losing a part of yourself, and coming to a place all alone. Your family was dead, except for your twin brother Maddox. And after reading about what had happened to them and how you had to recover...Pepper decided to never bring it up. She wanted you to talk about it whenever you wanted; she also respected if you didn't want to bring it up.

She made up her mind quickly after hearing your statement of wanting to better yourself, even if it hadn't your life goal to be her secretary. She was going to take a risk on you. Though, it didn't seem much a risk at all. You were always on time, always dutiful and respectful of the workload that was given to you. You thought not only of Peppers's health but others around her. She appreciated the cups of tea you got for her, and she noticed how you always took the time to speak to others. You are a good employee...and it's easy to be around you.

You could never thank Pepper enough for all she had done for you...because now, you had a small family of friends. Freinds who you were planning to see on your long-awaited day off. 

* * *

The soldier was weighted down in his slumber. 

He just knew he enjoyed the sound of the soft giggles that echoed in his mind.

Soft and sweet. Out of place in the void that consumed him. 

Where were they coming from? something tugged on his heartstrings, making him feel alive.

Solace, he felt solace. It was a warm glow that came over him when he would hear the sound. Who did it belong too?

A dream? a memory? the girl?

**The girl.**

The soldier's eyes opened, it was time for him to fulfill another mission. The warmth that had surrounded him was quickly replaced with the cold and bright lab, the scent of roses fading quickly as sterile aromas washed over his senses. He felt something inside his chest twist, what was that? longing? agitation? Both. He would never express it...for obvious reasons. He never mentioned you, never asked as to who you are, or if you even existed. He wondered if you had been a target, someone he had disposed of. He never asked because he wanted to keep you. His little secret. His girl. His dream. _His..._

He thought about you sometimes. What if you weren't a mission? what if you were alive? real? reachable? That was dangerous for both of you, if possible. For him, he knew that you would either be killed as leverage against him, or used to only further the bloodshed that he was meant for. Hydra would have no quarls in taking someone and breaking them apart, and they would break you. 

You were like fog to him, something he couldn't touch or see, but you were there. Soft and gentle, something easy to manipulate. If they didn't kill you, they would use it against him. They might even use you to breed with him. It had been attempted before, always a failure. He desired none of the candidates, they never smelled right. They weren't you. But he couldn't say what he wanted, no matter how many times they tried to appeal to him, forcing him to create something not out of love...but out of horror. 

Despite the atrocities he had committed, he felt the death in his bones, he knew that if they would force him on you. He didn't want to imagine your screams, your fear. He didn't want you to be tortured as a way for him to comply. He didn't want to find you. He wouldn't fuck you raw in front of strangers. He wouldn't allow them to hear your whimpers, your pleading for him to let you go, to not cum inside of you. They would make him, they would make him take you every second of the day that he wasn't killing. No, he wouldn't do that to you. He would keep you safe in the darkness of his mind. Savoring your innocence and sweetness. Never demanding the change in your gentle touches and light giggles. He would keep you hidden and away...he would never hurt you. He wouldn't find you.

But if he did...

If you were real...

How pretty his underworld would be with you in it...

His springtime...

His solace...

_His..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I mention this is a SLOW BURN? 
> 
> Have faith in me cinnamon rolls <3 
> 
> I'm thinking chapter five will be when we finally get to the time travel. I'm gonna introduce two more characters, so actually...four, chapter four is when we're gonna time travel cinnamon rolls. 
> 
> Please go follow my blog on tumblr <3  
Cdrash13  
and my instagram is ALSO cdrash13


	3. Natasha and caffine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We learn more about the reader on an adventure out with Nat! 
> 
> One more look at the Soldier's viewpoint of the reader...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I finally gave something a whirl! please read end notes for some explanations on why I haven't posted a lot.

  
  
  
  
Your had been starring at your cellphone for the past 40 minutes in tension.   
  
  
  
Today was your day off, a day you had been looking forward too, but instead of getting ready you were debating calling your brother, Maddox. Who you had not spoken to in such a long time...and despite the progress you had made in your life, there were times like now where you just sit and stare; anxious and tense. Deep down you knew that Maddox probably didn't care if you ever reached out to him, hell, he probably didn't care how you were doing at all.  
  
  
  
And that ate you up inside. 

Truth be told, if Maddox wanted to get ahold of you...he would, and he didn't need a phone to do so. Having been born into a magic-user family, there was essentially a contact spell that was roughly a way to have communication with one another. All one had to do was draw the incantation on a surface, such as the floor or ground, and if both parties had created the spell correctly then they would reach one another within the circle of the symbols they have drawn. The spell would create a full embodiment of the person you are trying to contact, but being as they are not actually present, if you tried to make physical contact, your touch would simply fade through the image of them. 

But Maddox had not reached out...

You often starred anxiously at the incantation spell that drew neatly in the corner of your bedroom. Hoping...praying, that one day it would glow a deep purple; indicating that your brother _wanted_ to reach out to you. That he cared. But the sigils never glowed, never activated. Simply stayed dormant. 

  
Leaving Ireland had been so challenging for you. You left your comfort zone, the very foundation of who you are as a person. The stormy glens had become part of your soul. The lush green hills reflected a sense of wilderness against your wild untamed hair. The soft shores held the emotion that shone in your eyes when you would come home to tell your mother about the fields of Heather that tickled your fingers; she would smile sweetly to you. Listening to all of your joy, all of the childish wonder that was enraptured with the place you called your Caledonia; Ireland.  
  


It was part of you. Maddox was very much part of who you are as a person, not having him in your life was painful. Some part of you knew that you had replaced your family with Pepper, Natasha, and Peter, and you didn't mind that part of your heart at all. In fact, they brought out the best in you! they had taught you how to laugh again, how to open up, how to be happy again. You were grateful for their welcoming you into their lives, their days and nights.   
  
  
  
You tightened your hands into a fist, taking a breath, and huffing loudly. Standing up from your small bed as you stomped away from your phone with determination; Thinking of your friends got you pumped! They are your constant reminder that you don't need your jerkwad of a brother: You need coffee and tacos with your two besties. But not in that order...or at the same time (that would be gross!)

You threw off your sleep clothes, an oversized open-neck shirt, and panties with little red foxes on them, soft and comfy. and bathed quickly. It was 8 am and Natasha would be meeting with you in an hour for gal pal time. That meant no sulking and lots of laughter in between and ungodly amount of caffeine that probably wasn't healthy for a normal human. 

You always tried to dress up a little nicer when you went out with Nat, more playful and girly. Nat had a habit of constantly teasing you when you had first started becoming close; she would eye you up and down, smirking at you like she knew a secret you didn't. Plot twist: she did.The secret being how to make you look presentable! She had taught you how to do your makeup, including how to not cover up your freckles, she thought that brought a softness to your features; though frankly...you were soft all together. 

But Nat never judged you for your looks. She never once made you feel bad for your soft tummy or thick thighs. You never felt inferior next to her beauty. A part of you always felt emotional when she would compliment you. She quickly took notice of your downward glances and shy thank you, soft and barely auditable. It didn't take long before she showed up to your apartment with face masks and two bottles of wine and before you knew it...Natasha Romanoff was sitting on your bed polishing your toenails a pretty sage green while trying to convince you to wear more heels. 

Nat had come at being friends with you like a freight train! Pepper had suggested you get out and meet people, you had thought Pepper was trying to get you to date...no, just make another friend. Natasha was a female Alpha. Not something unheard of, but fairly rare. She was confident, power wafting off of her with grace. There was always an air of tension around the Alpha...that is, till she would smile at you when she came to visit Pepper. 

  
For someone as infamous as Nat...you never expected her to be such a nerd. You always suspected that Pepper knew what she was doing upon introducing you both; she knew Nat was sick of the testosterone, she knew that Nat needed a gal pal to learn how to be gentle again. She knew Nat needed a friend to have late nights with...

Pepper knew you also needed to learn how to protect yourself. You needed to be cautious, to learn to trust again. To become someone stronger and prepared; So, Pepper called you to her office, explaining she couldn't have her usual tea date with you but suggested that maybe Nat could join you. Pepper didn't miss how you stiffened at the suggestion and quickly assured you that Nat wasn't like the rest of the Alphas: boy, what an understatement. After one gets together with the red-headed assassin, a bond was made. 

Quickly resulting in coffee dates whenever possible in both of your schedules. 

After finishing a quick shower, you threw on a flowy floor-length skirt and tucked in a slightly large t-shirt into the waist; God, you looked like such a hippie on your days off. But as you slid on your favorite boots, (still slightly muddy from you late-night taco runs with Peter.) You smiled. Quickly skipping out of your apartment as you tossed your wild locks, waiting for them to air dry as you began to leave the building. 

  
The warmth of the sunlight made you joyful. The slight breeze reminded you of the softness that came with warm Spring. Your mind slightly drifted to the Alpha in your dreams...the one who smelled of a burning winter.   
Would he enjoy the springtime? or simply cling to you and all of your warmth?   
Would he worship your goodness? or try to ensnare it for his personal cravings? 

There was a sense of urgency in his very being...desperation to consume you.

You walked a little faster on the sidewalk, the café just insight as you pushed the idea of the cold Alpha out of your mind. A part of you enjoyed this, enjoyed the dreams, you enjoyed _him_. 

But you couldn't say that out loud! Hell, you hadn't even told Pepper or Nat about the dreams! God, you could only imagine how insane you would sound if you even brought them up...

You enter to café, enjoying the sense of relief that washes over you as you spot your favorite redhead, "Hey Nat!" you greet. Relishing in the warm embrace the assassin gives you. The scent of coffee and busy scurrying of coffee enthusiasts brings a sense of normalcy into your spirit, you push away thoughts of a masculine scent of cedar that you had come to love...come to call home, out of your mind as you sit down with your friend. 

Being a female Alpha didn't help that fact that Nat was trained in reading people's body language...but she never pushed you to talk about what made your shoulders so tense every so often. She never asked you why you constantly chewed on your lip anytime a hulking man would be close by, clearly making you slightly nervous...and even possibly submissive? No, she never brought up your small anxious gestures.

She simply would smile, by you a large latte, gently pushing it towards your end of the table.

"So." Nat began.

You quirked an eyebrow at your friend.

"Found any cute guys lately?" She would ask casually.

You snorted.

_No, but there's one I'm curious about._

"Nah, none worth my time or energy." You reply flatly. 

Nat grins in amusement at your response. "Atta girl."

* * *

A soft humming. A gentle song...a lullaby? 

Delicate touches. Smooth fingers running through his hair. 

Warmth...like sunlight. All across his skin and body. 

Sweetness. Softness.

**_Her._**

The Soldier was becoming restless...

He needed something...

He needed her...

Maybe, just maybe...he should stop indulging the girl that haunted his mind, that made him weak and sated. He wanted to feel her touch. He needed to have her comfort him. He needed her. 

But right now...he had a new mission. 

One that didn't involve finding her.

At least, **_not yet. _**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So firstly, thank you for reading <3
> 
> I've been struggling a lot with some personal things in my life...  
Throughout most of this year I was struggling with being stalked by my ex. It was becoming terrifying...I didn't know how to cope. Writing has been both a good exsercise and relief for my mind. I found a lot of solace in your kindess towards my words <3
> 
> He popped up again recently...and it just sent me into fight of flight mode; I've been trying to process the entire thing ALL OVER AGAIN. It put me in a funk...I stopped writing...my mind was just clouded with dread...
> 
> I like to think of a world when men protect and cherish women. Though I clearly haven't shared the entire fan fiction with you all...I like to imagine that Bucky does just that for the reader; protects and cherishes her.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! 
> 
> So...I'm not very confident in my writing skills. I've only ever been decent in college based papers...DECENT.
> 
> I will LIKELY go back and check everything...bless you if you're able to get through my garbled mess of writing.
> 
> But if you took the time to read my first ever fan fiction, it means so much to me! Thank you for taking the time to give it a glance. I will work to improve constantly! This is a crazy story that has consumed my mind and I really want to share it with someone...we'll get to the smut in later chapters; just have faith!


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